Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Lucky girl

So, I'm at another one of those weird spots in my life. But I'll talk about that later. What I really am thinking about and dont understand right now is how on earth am I supposed to find some guy that fits ME? And if I do, how am I supposed to have him actually not only like me, but LOVE me? I dont get it. I just finished a conversation with a guy that made me laugh, he likes rock climbing (me too), is trying to find a great barber to get a good 50's style classic hair cut (um, LOVE!) and, well, he makes me smile when i talk to him, and its just easy. But then he's a big outdoorsist. Like hiking 11 miles to camp in a snow bank for fun, type guy. Dont get me wrong, I love mother nature, but im not about to do ANYTHING like that and put it in the same category as fun, ahem, slide it over to the torture column more like. Thank you. And then there is another guy, who is AWESOME, but he watches some tv shows I hate (cause I think they are spiritually degrading and just crude), although he does make me laugh. I am always on the edge with him though because im never sure how he's feeling about me (yep, I'm pretty selfconscious. SURPRISE!), and well crud, I dont know. But I like him. There are more guys im dating that fit certain parts of me, but really, how am I supposed to find a guy that is into the same things I am, has the same life goals, is spiritual, doesnt think im crazy, etc., etc... I think its darn near impossible. And throw in my incredible fear/ terror of marriage, I think I'm kind of doomed. How do people do it???
I think its going to take a miracle. I think I still have faith in those..

Things the Ideal Guy for Me Would Like
  (just for the heck of it..)

Dancing (country swing and ballroom)
rock climbing
going on walks
long, deep conversations
shotgun shooting
50's music and style
old man sweaters (i have no idea why i like them so much, but I do. Maybe its the classy, old look to it?)
cats, or at least be openminded. and dogs. cause I want one of those someday
humanitarian work
country music (or at least tolerate it for my sake)
watching movies (but not hardly any rated R ones! although I will admit to watching a few choice ones too.. sigh)
healthy food
likes to cook or at least not expect me to do it all alone. I have to have company to enjoy cooking usually.
spiritual minded things- reading scriptures, saying prayers, fulfilling his callings, listening to conference talks.
good style- and by this i mean, not always wearing tshirts and old sneakers. Yes, I just said sneakers. Having a good sense of humor
My crazy family
Being motivated and driven
Making something of himself
Being a good father
Castle (the tv show)
A healthy dose of nerdiness. (although i'm not talking playing Magic Cards on weekends.)
A dislike for wasting exhorbant amount of time on video games. (seriously, woohoo! you made it to level 10 of Wizards of Combat.. or whatever the game is called. Dont hate me..)
Treating a girl like a lady that is there by CHOICE. And NOT like a play thing..

So this is my list of unrealistic expectations. Honestly, I'll be lucky if I find a guy who has even 2/3 of these things. But as long as its the important things like wanting to be a good father and being motivated and driven, and hope upon hope, loves my family, and treats me with respect.. I think I'll be ok. Now.. Good luck with all that, right? :)

Things I'd Like to Be For Him

good mother of his children
good cook (im trying to learn!!)
someone he can feel proud of (and show off if he wants to)
witty conversationalist
best friend
companion in any project he needs or wants me
accomplished in my own goals
in good shape (ahem..)
good listener
a reason to smile
continually striving to be better
above all, Loving.

I'm sure id be happy to add to this list if he wanted me too. Within reason, of course. (I hate sexist women jokes.. Expect a good punch if you say one anywhere within ear shot.) Anyway, I hope he would find me worth having and that he would think that he is a 'lucky guy'. The end.