Wednesday, November 16, 2011

What a Weird, Wonderful World

So I suppose its been an eventful few weeks. Lets see, I guess I'll start with updates (I'm really bad at keeping up on this aren't I?) Well for starters, I'm not depressed as I was at my last post (Sorry about that), I'm not sure if its the new drugs, or that things seem to be going a little better, even if maybe they really aren't. Well, my mom is on Oxygen now, which sounds really bad, but I am thankful for it, because she feels like she can breathe now and is so much more comfortable and happy because of it. Also, after they realized that her lungs were filling up with water awfully fast after each surgery to drain them, they finally just went into put in ports on both sides of her lungs so that she can drain them herself everyday. Yea. :/ But its good. Although, now her liver area is filling up with water now too randomly, which has us a little worried. I don't really know where the water comes from, my mom has just told me that they said some types of cancer just cause these kinds of things to happen. :/ But she does seem to be feeling a little better, so I am happy with that at least. :)

I just got back from a trip to Florida for a wedding of one of my best friends. I got to be her Maid of Honor and I was so thrilled to be given that honor and be trusted to help out with the wedding and try to make it the best for her. I don't know if I did all my duties for that becuase I felt like I was doing so many things last minute! :/ But it was really fun and I got to meet some Fantastic! people and see some old ones again that I hadnt seen in awhile. :) Everyone was so wonderful and pulled together to make it what I think was a beautiful occasion, and quite honestly the couple had been through so much, that to just see them married and sealed was so beautiful I dont think it would have mattered what else happened, I was so happy for them. I feel a little bit like I could have used another vacation after that trip just to recover, but I feel so blessed and happy that I was able to go that I can't complain. :) Love it!! :)

My life is weird. I realized the other day (because my testimony had kind of taken a shot put recently in a downward sloping direction, although its gotten alot better I believe) that I dont really know what I am doing with myself. I said a prayer a few nights ago where I pretty much ran through a list of things I needed to understand and need help with. Mission?, housing, car (I need to try to find one to buy REALLY soon), guys?, mom, family, testimony, job change?, education?... Yea, I'm a bit unsure of things right now to say the least. But thankfully, I don't feel all crazy up in qualms about it at the moment. I'm Soo thankful for that. And I've had some interesting experiences the last couple days that may have helped cement my little faith steps in God and him knowing where I am going.

1- He has faith in me. I was laying awake the Monday night and was up way later than I usually like to let myself, around 12:30, and was starting to slip off to sleep with the usual thoughts drifting through my head when a thought came through of a coworker of mine. She is a very spiritual lady whom I love very dearly, but who is going through some unique and trying circumstances that will not end in this lifetime. I thought of her and then thought 'I should text her'. Its 12:30 at night peeps, I don't usually do those kinds of things, but I felt pretty confidently that it was something I should do. So I did. I texted her and told her that I had been thinking of her, that I loved her, and that I hoped things were going well. Well, I had a feeling there was a reason I needed to do that (I have been told when someone randomly pops in your head like that, you should give them a call or stop by, because it usually means they need it), and there was. It apparently happened to be PERFECT timing. It made me happier then a pig in mud to be able to be the answer to someone's prayer and help them, and to know that my Father trusted me enough to know that I would do it for him.

2- He hasn't forgotten me. -Randomly in the last couple days I've had my home teacher call me (they must have reorganized or been motivated by something 'cause I was told when I asked that it appeared the two I had were an inactive and a gentleman who appeared to be the 'unmotivated' type) and told me he heard I needed a blessing. The same night I also had a couple of girls in my ward drop by to visit and see if I was going to the FHE that night as well as just to see how I was doing. I didnt think about how much effort has been put forward to show that I'm remembered til now, but I am thankful that they have and to know that I still am. :)

3- He loves me. SOOO much. -So about 15 minutes ago (just before I started to write this) I got a phone call on my cell from a number I didnt know. I didnt feel like I should pick it up and so I let it keep ringing intending to let it go to Voicemail, until suddenly I felt like I should. The man on the other end asked if I was Liz, and after saying yes, he said his name and said this was a little awkward becuase he didnt know me, but that he had a strong impression that he should call me and tell me that my Heavenly Father loves me, and that he knows exactly what I am going through. ... Wow. What the heck? Umm, ok.. Cool. :) Yea. I dont know either.. But, my normally skeptical side let it slide and I got kind of teary eyed. I just thanked the man and hung up. Soo... maybe God just realizes that I am going to need some extra pushing these days, or the Cosmos are lining up in weird ways and random people are feeling like they need to do random things? Yea.. I guess they're not so random, so it's probably the first one. Yep, my Dad loves me. Oh and guess what? He's your Dad too.. And I'm pretty sure he must love you too. :)

♥ from a Friend- Liz :)

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

'Greetings from Limbo'

Wow. Life happens.. well I guess its not going fast or slow at this point.. its just goin. My little updates:
*Mission papers were supposed to go in a week ago last Friday, but tada! I'm still here. Doctors had their little meeting and decided they wanted me to meet with the medical Doc again. Seems they're not quite convinced I don't need anti-anxiety meds. And its okay, cause after this last week and a half, I'm not sure I am either.
*Gave my number to a beautiful, apparently awesome boy. Boy called. As we were texting to set up a date later I decided I was totally stupid to give my number to him, cause I could actually like him and, well, I don't really want to set myself up for anymore mission roadblocks. (Not sure if that was my only reasoning or if my blatant fear of relationships and men had something to do with that as well.) Either way, I explained to him my thoughts and said that I thought it better that I pass. He was really cool and nice about it and I couldnt help feeling like I gave up a good one. But trials be trials..
*My momma is doing a (very) little better. She can breathe better now and the water seems to be filling up in her lungs slower? So that makes me somewhat happier although she has started making the 'When I die..' jokes that I try to choke down, but I am none to happy about them, and I am worried that its her way of saying things are much worse than shes letting on, since she's never been good at letting on anything about her cancer anyway.
*I'm off the strict diet for now, and I feel like its helped alot although it seems like the condition hasnt completely gone away, but at least its livable now. :)
There's lots more little things I'm sure, but they are less than important. Although maybe it would be good to update on the little things, cause then maybe I'd feel like something is happening in my life. Maybe I'll report on the runway show I did awhile back and post some pictures of my wicked red hair I had too. The trials and temptations seem to be popping up again more now that things have become more active again with the Mission papers. But I know that things will get better if I keep on pluggin along and strive to keep the Lord on my side. I guess I havent written in awhile cause I've felt like I've had nothin happy worth writin about. But I guess I thought I ought to say 'hey' and 'i'm alive!'. So here goes: 'Greetings from Limbo!' Hope to see you all in a better place here soon, or ya know, not be seeing you but still in a better place soon (mission mission mission!!). Loves- Liz

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Happy Dance

So I'm not really sure what to say, but I feel really happy right now. Life has been interesting and challenging lately, but I think I have kind of liked it. Recently I figured out that I have Candida (its basically a bacteria overgrowth from being on too many antiobiotics, whatnot) and that pretty much the only cure was to change around my diet completely. And I mean completely. Apparently the bacteria likes things like sugar and carbs (which was pretty much my diet previously) and a diet like that can actually make the problem worse. Which was starting to cause my migraines, my intolerance to sugar, sluggishness, and brain fog. Can I tell you how happy I was to find out that I wasn't just an Idiot?! :D So I have started to go on this diet (as of early last week) and I have already noticed almost a 180 turn around. I still have alot of the problems, and apparently Candida is suuuuper hard and long to cure, but I can't tell you how amazing I have felt and how much of a change it has been for me. Ok, so let me tell you a little bit about the diet... Cause when I first read it, I thought it was simple enough, but after researching it more, I thought it was kind of a joke... Because, well, the list of things I CAN'T eat are longer than the list of things I CAN eat. Here goes-- NO sugar, NO dairy (except plain yogurt, and I drink almond or soy milk instead of cow), NO refined wheat, rice, yadayadayada (I can have buckwheat, brown and wild rice- all has to be gluten free), NO fruit (thats right.. Fruit. Too much sugar apparently, Although I cheat a little with pineapple cause the alkaline level is high enough it becomes kind of a catch 22... and PLEASE.. I'm not THAT strong!). I'm supposed to stay away from anything but free-range, organic meat (the antibiotics and hormones they put in animals can irritate the problem), NO processed food, certain kinds of nuts, or corn, potatoes, almost all vinegars, and absolutely NO yeast (which weirdly enough rules out alot of spice flavorings). Oh, and I'm supposed to stay away from microwaves. As in, don't heat up any food unless you want to use a skillet or an oven.

Needless to say, I have eaten a disgusting amount of raw vegetables, steak (which I am actually starting to get sick of, who would have thought?) chicken, seafood, and cold leftovers. All of this hasn't been so bad actually. I have to give my family super Kudos for being supportive and understanding, and even trying to find things I can eat. (It was almost comical going through the fridge and pantry trying to find things I can eat. Folks, look at your salad dressings- I dare you to find one that doesn't have sugar, dairy, or vinegar in any of them.) I love them so much, and I'm so greatful they are my family. My sister Katie is an angel, and one night I came home and she had even tried to make fajita's with whole wheat tortillas (which I'm not really supposed to eat, but it really can be so hard to remember with this dumb diet), but the whole ensemble was too sugary for me and I could tell it wasnt gonna be good for me so I couldnt finish it. But the fact that she tried really made my whole night, and I just lit up like a Christmas tree. The woman cooks for a housefull of people so to try to change things up for me in what would obviously be less appealing fashion for everyone else was such a sacrifice. I also have to give my friends props for not mocking me and being pretty understanding as well. I kind of figured that alot of them would think I was weird or that I was trying to do some extreme weightloss fad. I do NOT have enough willpower to skip out on as many chocolate covered donuts, chips, pasta salads, and dessert menus as I have just to shrink my reflection in the mirror.

After the initial 'I can do this!' and extreme optimism, which I am proud to say lasted at least a few days, and then reading a longer list of Don'ts and breaking down crying, and then having a friend build me back up again, I have to say I am actually starting to look at this as a challenge I should be greatful for. I did the same thing with my migraines, where I just told myself, its God's way of helping me to stay healthier by having to stay away from as much sugar. But apparently I didn't learn my lesson enough and I needed a little more guiding. (Hello. I'm a girl.. Do I need to tell you I like chocolate?) But it has actually been kind of fun to look online and find recipes or look for things that I actually CAN eat. has become my new favorite website and life link. I'm even planning on making my own recipe book of things I can eat. Oh, I think I forgot to mention that this isn't one of those diets that you just have to stay on for a few weeks. People who have Candida are often prone to getting it again, so you have to stay pretty close to the diet for the rest of your life. Yep. FOR-EV-ER. The good news is that after I get rid of the initial overgrowth I can start to eat a tiny bit of sugar and other things. But for the most part I will most likely be gluten-free and low sugar, low processed foods for the rest of my life. If I'm that strong. Which I hope I am. I don't want to be one of those stories I have read where the problem comes back and I have to do this again.

Ok, I have to mention that I did break down a little yesterday, so I'm not perfect.. It was my Dad's Birthday and we went to Red Lobster (I can eat most everything on their menu to my hearts content. Butter weirdly enough is actually allowed, and lemons are actually encouraged cause they are one of the few fruits that are initially acidic but change to an alkaline state in the body. I feel so smart right now. :)) And I have been taking this stuff that my dad gave me to help kill it, and I kneeew I might breakdown with those yummy, flakey, cheese biscuits they have there. So I let myself give in.. just a little. And then my dad had ordered a virgin strawberry daquiri that was delivered in a Martini glass that was a big enough size for a baby turtle to swim in and decided he wanted to show me how well the stuff he gave me could work. So I had some.. alot of some. And then I had some more biscuits.. and then some strawberry cheesecake.. And it was Amazing! But after even several sips of the daquiri I was starting to feel sick. My head was getting fuzzy, my stomach queesy, and some of the old symptoms were starting to flare up. So through trial and ERROR, I can say that this diet is really working for me. I'm grateful for the opportunity to learn so many new things, about nutrition, greater willpower, the love of my family, a newfound desire to cook and help others feel better too, and that my Heeavenly Father loves me. Alot. This could change me for the rest of my life and help me to help others for the better. Which I love to do. So even though this may make things seriously hard for dating, my mission, my grocery budget, my family, and my willpower, I am thankful that I am being kicked in the butt to be healthier and given the opportunity to grow. I hope everyone can see the trials in there life as hidden blessings and take them as the opportunities to learn and grow that they are. I'm not excited for the future conversations I will have to have of explaining why I can't have this or that, but I am excited for the newfound freedom I'll have from my symptoms and the health that comes with it. And hey.. who says that smaller reflection isn't a great side-effect? :)

Hoping you have a great, sunny, WARM day. :)

P.s. A new tip I have found- If you want to make a salad dressing that is healthy and actually GOOD for you, try making yours from Plain Yogurt. Buy the Ranch packets in the store and just add it to the yogurt instead of Sour Cream. Tons less fat, lots of probiotics (good bacteria thats needed to fight the bad, and good for digestion) and it tastes almost exactly the same. (Greek yogurt is good if you like thicker dressing, and the yogurts can come in Fat-Free too. Bonus!!) :)

Friday, January 21, 2011

Stars shine brighter

So life has been pretty nice lately. Albeit I am living out of a suitcase and sleeping on a mattress in my little sisters sometimes chilly livingroom, I have to say I am pretty blessed. Before I got kicked out of the place I was living in (Really long story, but the short version is that my older sister's landlady is well, I have nothing nice to say about her, so I wont, (but she has some SERIOUS control/crazy... (ok, i'll be nice) issues.) and that she didnt want me staying in the house anymore. So it was either I moved out within a couple days or my sisters whole family would get kicked out of the rental house in a month. I'll admit I cried alot, cause it kinda sucks to finally have someplace somewhat comfortable and homey to live in, and the next moment be without one at all. Thankfully my family is one that is used to helping each other and trying to patch things up in the face of adversity. So my lil sis has let me call her living room home for a few weeks til I can find a new place. (Its kind of cute actually cause she doesnt have a bed, so she sleeps on the couch and when I moved in she started sleeping on mine when I go to work since she's usually up through the night. So we have a rotating schedule where we can both have a bed to sleep on. :)) My older sister may have just found a new house for everyone to be able to fit in, with more rooms and a (most likely) more understanding landlord. I'm hoping it works out, and if not, I still have faith that God knows whats going on and that things will be okay and work out in their own due time.

I realize trials are only there to make us stronger and sometimes I think God is trying to prepare me for the Strong-Man contest. But I am grateful for them nonetheless. Sometimes I feel like I need them. When life just feels like an emotionless blur, and I dont know what to think or if what's important is really important, I almost find myself wishing for one to help put things back in perspective. I thought of something that made a beautiful image in my head for it. 'Stars shine brighter the darker it gets.' (It might already be a quote that I just remembered.) Our blessings are like stars, and in a world where there are ever lights on outside, and other things to be distracted by, its amazing how we can often miss something so beautiful, until all the sudden things get darker and we are forced to see they are there, and that they are brighter than we ever realized. I'm so thankful for my family. I'm thankful for my jobs, my car, a roof over my head, and that I have friends and influences around me that keep me sane and buoyed up. And I'm thankful that God still knows I'm here. It's interesting how He work in mysterious ways. But so many times I am grateful for that, because He is the master painter, the master writer, and how boring a world it would be to live in if He weren't. ♥